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Silence is a funny thing. Silence, as a noun, is defined as “complete absence of sound.” My husband and I recently experienced this definition of silence over the Christmas holidays. We rented a cabin in the mountains. Several mornings we walked along the ridge of the mountain, or sat on the back deck, and noticed the complete silence. We experienced what I describe as “golden silence,” silence that is refreshing, healing, and rejuvenating.

However, there is another definition of silence. As a verb, silence is defined as “cause to become silent; prohibit or prevent from speaking.” Often times this is when silence has the potential to kill, steal, and destroy. This is when silence becomes the enemy’s weapon against God’s children. I want to talk about this silence for a moment.

I will never forget my first experience of actually hearing God’s voice at the age of 33, and knowing with certainty that it was Yahweh speaking. Just the evening prior I had screamed out to the Lord for a sign that he existed and cared for me. I told him I needed to know, without a doubt, that he existed, before my journey with him could proceed any further.

The very next day, God spoke to me through a very enlightening encounter. Unbeknownst to me a raging fire had taken place in my dryer that morning. As I opened the dryer door later that day, God spoke a message to me very loudly. As I was looking at ashes, black deformed metal, and the physical destruction that made up the inside of my dryer, God said, “This is life without me, perfectly white on the outside, black and charred remains on the inside.”

Through God’s spoken words, and what my eyes saw through the physical destruction and ashes, I knew without a doubt that Yahweh existed. You see, in God’s ultimate wisdom, he chose to prove his existence to me by revealing to me a secret about myself that only he and I knew about. In addition, he showed me a physical representation of the resulting destruction that my deep dark secret had done to my heart, because of my silence over the previous 13 years.

Prior to this day, I had convinced myself that my life was good. It “appeared” to outsiders to be golden, and yet it wasn’t. For 13 years I had kept the horrible secret of an abortion I had when I was 20 years old. I had told no one about it, except my boyfriend at the time. So for 13 years I lived with the horrible secret and realization that I had committed “premeditated murder” on the day I decided to destroy the life of my unborn child that was growing in my womb.

It was a horrible secret to keep. I actually thought that I kept the secret quite well, because the enemy had convinced me that my life was better without anyone knowing of my past. It felt better to pretend nothing happened, then to admit the shame and guilt that was eating me up alive. It wasn’t until the day I heard God’s voice telling me and showing me the condition of my heart that my golden facade crumbled.

Upon hearing God’s voice for the first time ever, I could have once again chosen to keep my secret between Yahweh and myself. Because…really…who else needed to know. But that’s not what God had in mind, when he showed me the condition of my heart. Instead, he told me very specifically to speak about my secret. In fact, he instructed me to tell everyone who was close to me what had happened. For Yahweh knew that only after I broke my silence would my healing begin. On the day my silence was broken, the darkness was brought into the light, and Jesus started healing my soul.

Satan tries to convince us to stay silent. He whispers into our ears, “Don’t tell anyone about your ugly addictions, sins, or past. People will think less of you. It’s better just to stay silent.” Or he might say, “Don’t tell anyone about your fears, anxiety, struggles, insecurities, or depression. Your reputation is on the line. You don’t want to look weak.” Or maybe, “You will be greatly embarrassed if you share that, so it’s better just to remain quiet.”

These are all lies from the Devil, from the Father of lies. And when Satan convinces you to be silent, it is never a good thing. You need to become fully aware that Satan’s tactic of keeping you silent is so that he can destroy you from the inside out.

Jesus came to save and heal the sinners, as well as the emotionally and physically sick and weak. And guess what, ALL of humanity falls into that category of who Jesus came to save and heal! We all have past, and current secrets that need to be told, that need to be brought into the light, so that we can live abundantly and thrive with purpose and power. We all have secrets that are currently keeping us bound, in prisons of our own making, because of our silence.

When we finally break the silence, we will find that Jesus will send us multiple resources, on earth, and from heaven, to help us out of our prison and bondage. He will send us people who will listen to our stories, who won’t judge us for what we have done, because they have been in situations similar to ours. Jesus will send us prayer warriors we can talk to, who will anoint us and lay hands on us to pray with us for freedom and healing. He will send godly counselors or mentors who will help us stop, or change, our destructive behavior or habits. Jesus will give us heavenly peace, in the midst of our circumstances, that there is a bright light at the end of what seems to be a dark tunnel. He will give us insight and wisdom through his written word, the Bible, and through his own personal words for us concerning our situation.

Jesus wants you to share your secrets with godly people you trust. When you do, it’s like you take that secret and place it on a table to view. Once you take it out of the darkness and see it for what it is, all spread out, its easier to see the solution to whatever it is. It may take a lot of prayer, therapy, counseling, confrontation, repenting and turning from your sins, or asking for, or giving forgiveness to resolve, but that’s how ultimate healing takes place.

It took me 7 years, from when I broke the silence of my abortion, before I was completely healed. Early on, during that time, I knew Jesus had forgiven me, and because of his grace it was easy for me to forgive the doctors, society (for making abortion legal), and my boyfriend for what had taken place. What took 7 years of healing was for me to finally come to a place to be able to forgive myself. That was by far the hardest part.

So please do not be silent any longer. No matter what it is you are struggling with, you can speak about it. Do not let the enemy convince you to stay silent. From experience I know that it will only destroy you from the inside out by causing chaos, torment, and sometimes even physical death at your own hand. Satan is happy when you are silent. Don’t let him win. Instead bring light into your life by breaking your silence.

The other day I awoke to God saying, “It’s Ok to not be Ok, but it’s not Ok to be silent about it.” Only God knows the depths of destruction silence can cause. He also knows that any, and all tangled messes start untangling the moment Jesus’s light shines upon them. The moment they are brought out of the darkness, they will start resolving with Yahweh’s help.

So in this New Year of 2020, which represents a year of 20/20 vision, ask God to help you take an inventory of the secrets you have placed hidden into the depths, the attic or basement, of your soul for safe keeping. Ask him to help you bring these secrets into the light for his touch of healing. Ask him to do what only he can do, to make your heart whole once again from whatever has, or is currently breaking it into pieces and causing ashes to accumulate. Know with confidence that by bringing your secrets into the light you will receive the divine healing that you desperately need.

For it is fear that ultimately keeps us silent. But “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7.

Just yesterday I read a definition for a sound mind by Karen Schatzline, from her book titled, “Restore the Roar.” She defines a sound mind as “a mind that has been delivered, rescued, revived, salvaged, protected and brought into a place of safety and security so that it is not longer affected by illogical, unfounded and absurd thoughts.”

When there is NO MORE negative self-talk that passes through your mind, because there are no more secrets causing it, what takes its place is what I call divine, “golden silence”; the silence that I first spoke of that brings refreshment, healing and rejuvenation to your soul.

It’s time to finally be free from what binds you! It’s time to share your secrets!

P.S. As I was writing this blog, I turned on our XM radio to listen to, “The Message.” When I turned on the unit, I could see my selected Christian radio station was playing, but there was no sound coming from the speaker. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t hear what I knew was playing. I wondered what was keeping the speaker silent. I finally realized that because of a recent power outage, the speaker must have automatically turned off, and was not yet reset. When I finally resolved the problem, by rebooting the speaker, the lyric that played loudly from it was, “Let the devil know NOT TODAY.” As soon as I heard this lyric, I laughed out loud. For I knew that God was agreeing with what I was writing. Yahweh wants his children to let the devil know that they will not be silent any longer. God wants his children to loudly declare, “Not today, not tomorrow. No longer will I fall for your lies Satan. I am going to reveal my secrets today, and FINALLY allow Jesus to set me free me from my prison.”

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