I VALIDATE YOU! NO ONE ELSE!
Several years ago, unfortunate circumstances caused two dear friends of mine to be removed from my daily life. I had been close with both of these ladies for over 10 years, and in a matter of months they both disappeared from my everyday. It was a very hard time for me, as I did not understand why either one of these relationships seemed to have dissolved before my very eyes. Honestly, it felt like a divorce of sorts, as we used to do so many things together as families. I struggled for many years over the loss of these dear friends. I missed their presence, and the good times we shared.
Six months into these losses, Yahweh explained to me partly why these friendships dissolved. One day he enlightened me that I had become way too dependent on these two ladies, and how unhealthy it was for our relationships. God showed me how I looked to them to validate my existence and value as a human being. My relationships with these women had come to a place of me leaning WAY too heavily upon them, to calm my insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. I looked to them for my approval and acceptance as an individual.
During this very difficult time, God said something to me that has completely changed my life. Very loudly, clearly and sternly, my heavenly Father said to me, “I VALIDATE YOU! NO ONE ELSE!”
To validate something means, “to demonstrate or support the truth or value of, or to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of.”
Often times we, as humans, seek validation from our spouses, children, co-workers, friends, family, church, and/or our accomplishments. From my own experience, I know that when you endlessly take this approach in order to feel worthy or accepted, you will come to a place of feeling exhausted. Because this approach never leads to long term results, you will constantly be looking for validation from people who just can’t satisfactorily fill the hole of significance you are feeling in your heart.
Once Yahweh spoke his personal words to me, I had a better understanding on why he had allowed these dear friendships to dissolve. With 6 words, my Creator successfully explained to me the importance of looking to him, and him alone, for my personal validation. He needed me to receive my identity only from him. He had a lot planned for my life, but it could not move forward until I learned to approach him for my worthiness. He needed me to know with certainty who I am, why I was created by him, and what my purpose was in his Kingdom.
So I took God’s word as a personal promise. From that day forward, whenever I was feeling insecure or unworthy about my existence, I would say, “Ok God, you said, ‘I validate you! No one else!’ Well, I am really needing you to validate me today on who I am to you and my existence. I don’t care how you do it, I just really need you to speak to me.”
I have asked God to validate me so many times over the years that I have truly lost count. When I first started asking God to validate me, I asked him quite often. Because of the frequency of me asking him this question, I realized just how insecure I really was. It was something I had never before seen in myself.
What is so great is that every single time I asked God to validate me, HE DID! Within just a few hours of my plea, I always received validation of how important I was to him, in one way or another. Sometimes he would speak personal words into to ears. Sometimes he would have close family or friends call or text, telling me how important I was to them. Sometimes he would send complete strangers to validate me. Often times he would send me to a specific Scripture that revealed who I was to him.
The ways in which Yahweh has validated me over the last 8 years are so creative, I just can’t adequately explain all the ways in which he personally touched my heart over the years!
What has resulted in God validating me is that he has personally solidified my identity as a human being, and my identity as his precious child, bride, heir, and priest. I no longer question my worthiness or significance, or my purpose in life, because of God’s personal words for me over the years.
In fact, the last time I talked to God about validation, these are the words I spoke, “Heavenly Father, I just realized that it has been a very long time since I have asked you for validation. In fact, I don’t really need validation today because I know, without a doubt, how important I am to you. But…if you would like to validate me, feel free to do so.” This personal conversation with God was so completely different then just a few years prior, when my pleas for validation were accompanied by tears, doubt, despair, and emotional pain.
Well, wouldn’t you know it, just 24 hours later I received a text from someone I didn’t know who gave me a rave review of my book that she had picked up that week to read. God’s validation of me that week made me do a happy dance of pure joy!!! God is so good to his children.
A few weeks ago, as I was thinking of all the ways in which God has validated me over the years, I imagined how great it would be if God validated all of his children the way he has me over the years. I imagined the entire Body of Christ walking confidently, emotionally healthy, with purpose, and power through their daily lives. Oh how different the body of Christ would look to a watching world! Oh what a living testimony we would be for unbelievers, and a good reason for them to start following Jesus Christ.
And I believe Yahweh agrees….
On the week that God gave me the idea of blogging about this very subject, he also prompted me to pray for HIM to personally validate my 3 children, who are in their 20’s. Two of my boys, who have just entered into the working world, had been recently struggling with their current jobs, and questioning their purpose in life. They had both had some pretty emotional days in the past few weeks, and seriously needed some validation of their existence…from someone other than their mother or father.
So on Monday 7/1/19, I prayed for God to validate all of my children, in order to let them know how valuable they are to him, and others, and to give them hope. I also did something I had never prayed before. I gave God until Friday of the same week to accomplish his task. Yes…it was a bold request!
Well…all I can say is our God is amazing in the way he works!
By Wednesday of that same week, my youngest son won a contest at work, for giving the best presentation of all the interns. The contest was totally unexpected and he won an awesome gift! Yay! My youngest son was validated by God that he was a valuable intern for his summer employer. My youngest son had not been struggling, so what a pleasant surprise that was.
On the same day, my middle son received word from several employers who wanted to interview him. By Friday, he had four interviews lined up for the following week. Once again, God had validated my son, that there were employers in the world who found his talents and education valuable to their company. He received needed hope on that day.
My oldest son came home to visit us on Wednesday night, for the 4th of July holiday weekend. With all the festivities that weekend, Friday came and went with no validation for my son, as far as I could see. On Saturday I thought to myself, “Well, I guess 2 out of 3 validations ain’t bad.”
On Sunday evening, as we were all lounging on the sofa, my oldest looked at his emails and saw an email from a company that he would love to work for. The email said they were interested in interviewing him. He was so excited! Yes…someone found my son’s education and experience valuable. The email put a little bounce in my son's step.
My son then casually mentioned to us that he received the email on Friday of that week!!! I couldn’t believe it. Yay...unbelievable! Yahweh had validated all of my children, exactly as he had prompted me to pray. I believe he met my deadline of Friday, as his way of proving his point on how extremely important it is to look to him for ALL of your identity questions.
As I was thinking about how amazing Yahweh is, I realized that because he longs to validate his children, he does it very quickly. Just like physical parents love to validate their children, so does he. For he knows more than anyone how important it is for his children to look to their Creator and Savior for their worthiness. He is just waiting for his precious sons and daughters to ask him to confirm just how valuable they are to him.
So, if today you find yourself feeling insecure, unworthy, or confused about your identity, know that your Creator wants to personally tell you exactly who you are to him, what your purpose in life is, and how much he LOVES YOU! Don’t wait another day to ask your heavenly Father to validate your existence in one way or another. AND ... then expect him to answer you!
Please, don’t spend another day leaning on your fellow man for your approval or acceptance, because that exercise will simply wear you out, and has the potential to cause great damage in your relationships, as I experienced first hand. Instead, choose to rely heavily on your Heavenly Father to ESTABLISH your IDENTITY!